.. a friend’s pain ..
I’ve never really had many friends. I actually don’t believe in “friends”. I’m not into small-talk, or making friends just for the heck of it. I can’t wrap my head around when someone will say “oh, I have a friend who..” .. and I’m thinking “how come I don’t have friends”? I don’t really believe in the concept of friendship. To me, a good friend is someone who is like family. And, then, of course you have your family (like ‘em or not) .. and the rest are just random acquaintances. I definetely believe people, wether friendship or a slightly more meaningful relationship, are brought together by circumstance. It can be for a day, a week, a month or a lifetime. We come into each other lives to learn something and then move on. As far as love and relationships go, they’re great .. but nothing lasts forever.
A very dear friend of mine has been recently going through the process of losing his mother. Interestingly, I went through the same exact situation last year. I know very well of the gut-wrenching pain, the things you’ve always wanted to say, the “no, this can’t be it” that he must be feeling. Yet, I can’t bring myself to say _anything_ to him. There’s something to be said about that theory of pain someone wrote or talked about. I don’t remember exactly, I just remember over-hearing it from a friend. It’s something to the effect of .. we are INCAPABLE of feeling anyone elses’ pain .. so whatever you see on tv, you can’t feel for the people .. you can’t feel for your loved ones .. you simply relive what you’ve been through .. no matter how small or big. So, in theory, when you’re watching tv and hearing about the U.S. financial crisis and people losing their 401k’s .. are you really feeling for those people? .. or are you, on some level, reliving that bully situation in grade school .. the one who used to steal your lunch? I know I am definitely reliving my mom’s loss and the last days of her life, while helping my friend cope with his situation. All moms are great. But your mom will always be the greatest. It’s the only unconditional love you’ll know.
Such is life, I suppose. Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out. Bam! A reminder to let you know you aren’t the most important thing and that there’s a bigger purpose to life. (of course, I haven’t figured that one out .. input welcome!)
My friend is very well aware of the incredibly difficult time I went through when I lost my mom and how long it took me to come to terms with it. He was a huge support, through the whole process. I guess it’s now time for me to pay back the favor. I only wish it had been under better circumstances.
