Life, Crap, Etc.

Jun was a petite 17 year old Japanese girl, sitting adjacent to me on a flight to Dubai.  As the plane took off, I curled up in my blanket while she sat cross-legged on her flat-bed deeply engrossed in what seemed like a holiday brochure or magazine.  From our brief, and very formal, conversation it seemed she was off on a skiing holiday to Geneva.

As the plane started its descent, I was woken up by one of the flight crew.  “Are you ok?” asked the flight attendant.  I took a minute to explain a neuro-degenerative brain disorder I suffer from, which causes short-term memory loss and high anxiety.  I asked for some water to take my medication and buckled myself for the landing.  “Man, you snore!” announced Jun!  I, again, explained my medical situation to which she was most understanding.

The plane touched down and the passengers disembarked.  I started walking down Dubai’s Terminal 3, towards the immigration counter when I lost my balance, felt dizzy and hit the wall.  At this point my vision was also getting a slightly blurry, so I decided to sit for a while before walking out of immigration.  I sat on the bare tiled/marbled floor which felt ice-cold, wrapped a scarf around myself and closed my eyes.

“Bilal!  Bilal!” echoed through my head and I thought “oh great, another anxiety attack”.  I opened my eyes only to discover Jun standing in front of me.  She had walked back from her transit counter, after having seen me sitting against the wall.  Jun, this carefree teenage girl whom I hardly knew and had never met before, sat down on the bare floor next to me and started asking what was wrong.  I explained my head was spinning, which often happens after I take my meds and that I’d be ok.  “I have a friend in Dubai, who can take you to the hospital if you need” Jun said to which I explained I had a friend waiting outside to drive me to my hotel.  We both sat quietly for a while, after which Jun asked “why aren’t you wearing a watch?”  “Oh, I just don’t like them” I explained.  Jun took off her watch and put it on my left wrist, explaining that with such a condition I need to be wearing a watch so I can pace myself.  “You really don’t have to” I insisted.  “Ok, well, I’ll just sit here .. miss my flight .. and it’ll be your fault”.  I accepted the watch, thanked Jun and we exchanged phone numbers.  We heard Jun’s flight being announced over the intercom and I insisted she get going so as to not miss her flight.  It really felt like Jun didn’t want to leave.  While I was incredibly touched by Jun’s concern and generosity, I just wasn’t in the frame of mind to be able to thank her enough.  I saw Jun walk towards the transit counter, often turning and looking back at me and waving in the most sweetest adolescent way.  That was the last I saw of Jun.

Shortly after I got up and made my way to the immigration counter.  I did not have a friend waiting outside, as I had told Jun.  The hotel had sent a car to pick me up.  On my way to the hotel, a long 45 minute drive thanks to the morning Dubai rush-hour, I kept thinking about Jun.  While I was still somewhat disillusioned from the anxiety attack and didn’t really quite understand what had happened, I was completely awe-struck at the concern Jun had shown.

“Welcome back to the Grosvenor House, Mr. Ahmed!”, said the hotel’s bell-boy as he escorted me to the hotel’s reception.  I checked into my room, sat down, had something to drink and saw the watch Jun had given me.  It looked like a simple watch, with a nice clean dial and a black leather strap.  I put the watch on the night-stand and decided I’d take a nap.  I woke up six hours later and thought I’d call and ask Jun if she had reached safely, and  more importantly, thank her for the concern she had shown.  There was no answer.  “Ok, I must be imagining this”, I said to myself.  I ran over to the night-stand where I had placed Jun’s watch and realized the watch was very much there and not just my imagination.

I was eventually able to get in touch with Jun and we remain close friends.

There’s a game I’m playing and I’m afraid I’m about to lose.
I can’t win, I don’t know the cheats .. nor the secrets.
The game of life.
My turn to shine, but I lost my stars.
My turn to fly, but I lost my wings.
My turn to dream, but I lost my mind.
My turn to live, but never stood a chance.

Rolled cuffs continuing from last season (love them!) .. Emporio and Paul Smith also followed the trend, with the inner-cuffs often matching the collar .. looks great, esp. with Paul Smith’s signature stripes! .. really like the tuxedo jackets .. always classy .. never out of style .. the “torn jeans” seem to be making a come-back .. personally, I prefer the grunged, vintage sort of jeans .. as for the embroidery, have to say it’s something only D&G would do .. but, certainly, not for everyone to carry off .. pants/jeans with wider silhouettes making a come-back .. thank god, no more of the “skinny” jeans! .. pllllease! .. pleated pants/jeans and tuxedo pants look great! ..

over-sized metallic knitwear shirts .. with the “chanel-ish” border thing happening  .. I WANT!!!

more bags, please!!!

yes, men wear bags! .. how else do you carry your stuff around? .. the college backpack or the odd messenger or laptop bags just doesn’t cut it!

“laptop bags”, no matter how nice, sturdy, etc .. NO! NO! NO! .. get a sleeve for your notebook and a REAL bag ..

amazing detail .. only Stefano Gabbana!

prayer beeds .. always cool!

and, finally, the D&G clutch! ..

Stolen Lives (“La Prisonnier”)
Written by : Malika Oufkir

“If I could have ripped out the earth with my teeth I would have. I dug, I scooped out the earth, I no longer thought, I no longer existed, I had become a machine. Digging, scooping, digging, scooping…”

A testament to the endearing power of the human spirit, “Stolen Lives”, written by Malika Oufkir, is the haunting tale of Malika and her family’s twenty-four year incarceration in a desert jail.  The story starts in 1972 as Malika’s life is shattered when her father, Generat Oufkir,  is executed for his part in an attempt to assassinate the King of Morocco.  Along with her mother and five siblings, Malika, then nineteen, is imprisoned in a penal colony. The Oufkir family spends the next fifteen years in prison, the last ten in solitary confinement, until they manage to dig a tunnel and escape. Their freedom ends five days later, however, when they are captured and return to prison. In 1996, after twenty-four years of solitary confinement, starvation and torture, the Oufkir family is finally granted permission to leave Morocco.

With the help of Michelle Fitoussi, editor of the French Elle magazine, Malika recalls her family’s struggle for survival in the harshest, most astounding circumstances.  She tells of raising her brothers and sisters, teaching them good manners and attempting to provide them with some semblance of a normal life. They celebrated Christmas and birthdays, saving up rations to make cakes and fashioning toys out of cardboard.  Even through the worst moments, Malika will surprise you with her sense of humor.

This haunting tale, as shocking and upsetting as it is, is written beautifully and purely from a factual point of view.  Do not expect melodramatic flair.  Instead, Malika’s honesty and simplicity shines through to express the dire horror and fear the family lived through for so long.  The Oufkir family’s courage, determination and dignity are an icon of the triumphant mind and soul over strongest adversary!

After a bit of a hiatus from watching tv, I’ve been fumbling through some of the sit-coms running these days.  I have to say I’m totally shocked!  I feel a little left behind, but “The Family Guy” .. oh my god, it’s actually GROSS! I mean short of the cute alien, the show is terribly offensive and in such bad taste.  (not to mention, it’s so NOT just a cartoon .. it should be “R” rated)  I wonder if I’m the only one that feels that way.  Where are the sit-coms like the “Cosby Show”, “Three’s Company” (yes, I’m THAT old!), “Friends”, “Will & Grace”, etc. ?

And have you seen “The Sarah Silverman Program”?  I was completely horrified just 10 minutes into the program!  What on Earth is wrong with peoples’ sense of humor?  The particular episode that I happened to see was the one where she (i.e. Sarah Silverman) finds out she’s 9 months pregnant.  The woman didn’t actually have a clue all those nine months!  Perhaps we’re just a generation of jaded sit-com addicts, where we need more sort of “shocking” comedy to make us laugh.  Which actually does or could make sense, if you take into account the theory of laughter .. what makes us laugh, is really, something completely unexpected.

I’m so glad Jay Leno got his contract renewed.  Apparently, there were rumors that NBC was about to replace him.  And, now, it seems like Conan’s on his way out (don’t like him much, anyway!).  The Jimmy Fallon show is great!  But I think he’s going to have a really tough time living up to the SNL expectations.  We’re going to be expecting something brilliant from him, every single night .. whereas “Saturday Night Live” was a once-a-week show.  So far, it seems like he’s inviting all his friends and buddies.  I love Drew Barrymore’s appearance on the show.  She was so comfortable and totally herself.  Later in the week, I believe she hopped across to Jay Leno, where she looked absolutely glam and all decked up!  I also quite enjoy Ellen’s show (err.. and love the dancing bit!).  :)

Maybe I’m getting older or more finnicky.  I don’t know, I just really miss the shows that I grew up with.  Shows like “the Cosby show”, “Three’s Company” (remember Mr. Roper?!) .. gosh, he was a riot!  I never did get why poor Chrissy was always getting replaced.  And there will be nothing in comparison to “Will & Grace”, which I always felt should really have be called “Jack & Karen” since they were (in my opinion) funnier of the foursome.  Will was just so up-tight and Grace with her attitude and breakdowns, gosh she was annoying!  Karen was THE best! .. I loved her character and how she portrayed it.  She was just the perfect choice for the “Karen” character.

Karen: You know what else is sad? Poor people who have dreams.
[pause]
Karen: Well that’s not sad as much as it is extremely funny.

oh wow! .. while randomly surfing the web, I came across this amazing artist, Simon Evans .. this particular piece of work, titled “Everything I Have”, is literally hand-drawn pictures of ALL of his posessions! .. isn’t it amazing? .. I mean imagine the detail and how long it must’ve taken him to take inventory of ALL of his posessions! .. wow! .. [click the picture for a larger version] .. another one of his works, titled “My Diary”, is entirely made out of tape and white-out .. wow, you really have to admire the man for his creativity ..

Speaking of creativity, I’ve been trying to re-design my blog .. my previous theme was “elegant grunge” .. and, while, it was nice and all .. I thought I needed more of a magazine sort of look for my blog .. with little excerpts and blurbs .. I hope to be, now, posting more often .. blogging is just so therapeutic .. and a great way for your friends and family to see what you’re up to .. I can’t do the whole “social networking” thing .. twitter and facebook .. they just don’t make sense to me ..  well, I do see their value .. but I feel the written word needs a little more respect than a “tweet” here and there! :)  It’s probably going to take me quite a while to get this blog all figured out, since I don’t know much about CSS and all that crap!

Feeling totally crushed!

Today, I was told .. by a very close family member .. that whatever “crap” I’ve been through .. or am going through .. (mental, physical, psychological) .. is, in fact, MY fault.  Implying that I might’ve made wrong decisions, or chose to live a certain lifestyle that led to .. whatever!

Ordinarily, I’d brush such comments off with “oh please, what do you know?!” .. but since this was a close family member .. I’m so totally devastated.  Obviously, this person didn’t know what he/she was talking about.  Maybe it was a slip, mistake or not worded correctly.  While I do agree that we shape our own lives, with our own actions and decisions .. there are certain things which are completely beyond my control.  I mean like “cancer”? .. oh, sure, that was totally MY fault!  Getting f#*@ed by my best-friend, with the “business”, totally MY fault. (actually, that probably was)