.. me.
I have recently realized, with a fairly over-whelming force, that I have some pretty huge (ok, MASSIVE!) deficits for a functioning adult.
I am totally irresponsible (even though I’d like to pretend otherwise), injury prone and most forgetful. Now that I’ve had to live without mom (quite literally, my guardian angel) constantly looking out for me and reminding me of things, these deficits have become more obvious. I seriously have no concept, whatsoever, of time. I don’t know if it’s the meds, I don’t know if I’m just plain lazy .. but never ask me which day of the week it is.
In the year that I’ve been on my own, I’ve attempted suicide, cut myself, bruised myself, lost my wallet (twice!), lost my car keys and missed deadlines (countless times).
While I’ve always enjoyed my independence and felt like I’m the independent type, I’m SO not! Mom was my little fairy, who followed me around picking up my mess, making sure I didn’t kill myself. Without her, while I’m trying to learn .. I’m just such a mess. (ok, go ahead and call me a spoiled little mama’s boy .. maybe I am one!) But the fact remains .. I can’t remember to have my meds and meals on time. My bills are always paid way ahead of the due date. And I haven’t sat down and worked more than two hours at a stretch for over a year now.
But, you know what I’ve realized. It’s OK! No one’s perfect. I don’t have to figure it all out immediately. I’m allowed to take my time. After all, this has been a huge life-altering change in my life. People fall, get up again .. and life goes on!
